Sub plenary: Mistakes, shame and responsibility: exploring pathways to reconciliation in families

ABSTRACT

Parents inevitably make mistakes. Big, small and both. One parent might shout at his children, while another is overwhelmed by sadness in a way that makes it hard for her to show interest in the children’s lives. And these mistakes affect the relations to their children, and of course, how children perceive themselves and others.

For various reasons such as shame and unawareness these mistakes are not always talked about. They even might turn in to taboos or family secrets distancing family members from each other. Children might feel guilty or let down by their parents, while the parents might try to forget what has happened in order to build a better future.

In this sub-plenary I will present some of my work on reconciliation with families. Using examples, I will discuss various ways of enabling parents to take on responsibility for what has happened and help the children develop new understandings of the parent-child relation and themselves.